About 3 weeks ago or so, for 6-ish consecutive days, #Mistress was trending on Twitter with #pegging bringing up the rear (yes, the bad pun was intended).
Then again on Monday 8/22.
Except this time, I was trending WITH the hashtag!
Me! Moi! This old ho!
Second only to the Queen of Darkness, Elvira. I was so dumfounded, but honored just the same. Trending, with #Mistress. Holy shitballs!
So, what could possibly cause such a kerfuffle?
What could possibly start, and keep, #Mistress trending for days and DAYS? And then resurface to trend again?
Logic would tell you it’s likely because of someone like me – a kinkster, a FemDomme, Dominatrix, Mistress, etc.
Or, that somehow mainstream society was getting a giggle at #AnalAugust.
Hold on to your tiara’s, folks.
The kerfuffle is regarding Prince William!
Yes, the Prince – and his fondness for pegging with his mistress. His mistress-mistress, not Dominatrix-Mistress. The future Kink, er King, of England has a penchant for pegging! No surprise there. Men in positions of power often CRAVE being in complete & utter submission – to shut off and let someone else call the shots. Not a surprise to me one, single, bit.
I say kudos to him. Rock on. Let the good times roll!
So, here’s the thing…pegging has always been popular. But, vanilla folks and mainstream overall have just begun to talk about pegging more openly in recent years. Us kinksters have been talking butt-stuff for as far back as I can remember, and I’m kinda old.
With this new-found royal notoriety, dudes are going to be asking for pegging, a lot, trust me on this.
So, I put together a few quick thoughts on some of the basics of safe pegging and anal play overall. Besides, #AnalAugust is almost over. I mean, what kind of kinkster would I be if I didn’t join the booty party?
But first, a great ‘thank you’ to HRH for trending #Mistress & #PrinceOfPegging and getting a collective conversation started.
I’ll take it from here ol’ boy.
CLEANING THE POOP SHOOT
1)be sure you’ve had a bowel movement that day
2)do a THOROUGH cleaning (lookin’ at YOU cis dudes who are beggin’ for peggin’).
This involves a very thorough wash of the anal area with soap and warm water about an hour prior. Then, before the big show, use unscented, hypoallergenic baby wipes. For most people, this method of cleaning is enough.
For those seeking a deeper clean, enema 1-2 hours before anal play. Be sure to only use a couple cups of WARM water because you’re only rinsing out the last 6-8 inches of the rectum. NOTE: If you use too much water, you can stimulate your digestive system and make things messier.
Check the water against your wrist. Too cold and you’ll cramp. Too hot and you’ll irritate the tissues.
USE A ‘CHUCK’ DURING ANAL
An easy way to help keep things clean is to put a ‘chuck'(disposable absorbent pad) down before you get started. The term ‘chuck’ comes from the medical field. They’re thin, easy to work with when moving patients and easy for clean-up because you just ‘chuck’ ’em in the trash.
I advise everyone who’s engaging in anal play to use them. It’ll stop your bedsheets from being stained and help collect any lube, body fluids, and fecal matter.
You don’t need to pay for the medical grade ‘chucks’ when puppy pee pads do the same job at a fraction of the price. I found the perfect size here.
USE GLOVES FOR FOREPLAY
I strongly urge using gloves for anal foreplay and prostate massage. It’s an efficient way to keep anal play clean for everyone. In addition, they’re smooth and protect the delicate tissue from any small rough spots on the fingers, nails and hands. Because of their smooth surface, they’re perfect for anal opening massage which stimulates erotic nerve endings and prepares the body for larger penetration.
Although you can easily get a box of gloves at Walmart or CVS, the blue and white gloves look more medical and sterile. Blah! Not sexy whatsoever – unless you’re specifically doing medical play.
I have a solution for that.
Black Tattoo artists gloves.
They’re thinner (4ml) and come in black, which is WAY hotter. These nitrile gloves work great, and you can use oil-based lubricants with them. There are various sizes to choose from to accommodate all hand sizes. Be sure that the glove is snug and smooth. If it’s too loose, or loose enough to have wrinkles, discard. Folds in the glove will irritate the anus.
While you have the gloves on, let’s direct you to the P-Spot.
It is a small gland about the size of a walnut inside the anal canal. It’s part of the (male assigned at birth) reproductive system and is surrounded by nerve endings that, when massaged, can intensely amplify an orgasm.
The P-spot can be found 2-4 inches inside the anal canal. You’ll know you’ve found it when you feel the raised, walnut-sized gland. Using your index finger (or 2 fingers for experienced players) and do a “come hither” motion to rub the prostate. Start off gentle and then slowly apply more pressure as determined by your partners response. Due to so many nerve ending surrounding the P-spot, you simply need to gently rub in order to elicit all the good feels.
Prostate orgasms are thought to be more intense than just penile orgasms. Penile orgasms are associated with 4-8 pelvic contractions, while prostatic massage orgasms are associated with 12!
EASY DOES IT
Is this is your first time with anal play and not ready for any penetration?
You can get tremendous pleasure without actual penetration.
Anal foreplay is a great way to introduce yourself to stimulation and pleasure in this newly explored area. There are TONS of nerve endings around the anus that feel AMAZING with gentle stimulation like licking or massaging.
When you’re ready to proceed, remember to relax. If you’re tense, your sphincter will be as well. And, what should normally be incredibly pleasurable, will likely be painful. (Which it’s NOT supposed to be).
You can also try deep breathing with your partner to relax. That helps, a lot.
lube. Lube. LUBE. The anus does not self-lubricate. I recommend silicone-based lube for anal play because it’s smoother and lasts longer than water-based lube.
Newbie players should avoid numbing lubes. It’s important that you feel everything, good and bad, in order to have a successful, pleasurable and safe experience.
Tip: Have the receiver guide the penetration.
A great way to begin is with the tongue or fingers then introducing a small butt plug.
From there, build up to bigger butt plugs (purchase a butt plug kit ahead of time) and then try toys or penis.
Anal sex shouldn’t hurt.
Especially if you take your time.
The sensation might feel a bit foreign but pain is NOT supposed to be part of it. You should basically just feel like you might need to poop, coupled with pleasure. It’s goooooooood.
Go slow. Relax. Use plenty of lube and foreplay.
You’ll be well on your way to an incredibly pleasurable experience with your partner in no time!
So, it got a little messy. Don’t get freaked out.
Sure, it can be a bump in the road but it doesn’t have to be an all out calamity. The more calm and go-with-the-flow you are, the more your partner will feel same.
Stay calm, stay present and keep a positive mindset. Remember that even when you go into anal play well-prepared, it just happens. Even experienced players have had this occur at one time or another.
Sometimes, it merely means cleaning up. Or hopping in a quick shower. Or shifting to a different type of intimacy. For some, it means calling it a wrap and trying again another time. Just talk to your partner and discuss what’s best for both of you in that moment.
Keep calm, move forward, NBD.
- Hygiene: Clean the Poop Shoot!
- Prepare your Play Space: Chuck a Chuck
- Gloves: Your Foreplay-Friendly Assistants
- P-Spot-Yes, Please!
- Take It Easy: lube. Lube. LUBE. Go slow!
- Ut Oh!: Shit Happens. Don’t sweat it.
I would love to hear your tips for anal play!
Be sure to check me out on Twitter, IG, and FetLife
Please note: The links to products in this blog post are affiliated with my Amazon Associates account that earn a very small amount to help support this blog:)