In a recent blog post, I listed some easy consent-convo starters and received a terrific response. Folks wrote to say how helpful it was to have a list of sentences they could keep on-the-ready to help when the situation arose.
With that in mind, I put together a short list of polite boundary setters to help navigate protecting your energy and advocating for yourself in the moment.
Some are kink-applicable, but mostly, they are general day-to-day boundary setters that you can be comfortable issuing.
Please let me know how they work out.
I can’t do that but I can help you find someone who can.
Thanks for your concern, but, I can handle this.
I’m not comfortable discussing this with you.
I’m allowed to change my mind.
I appreciate the gesture, but in the future, I’d prefer ….
I can’t attend/participate but I appreciate the invitation.
Thank you, but I’m not interested.
I wish I could, but I can’t.
I can’t take on additional responsibilities right now.
I’m uncomfortable with what you just said/did.
I cant do ______, but I’m open to trying ________.
I don’t give you permission to do ______ to me.
I won’t be spoken to in that manner.
I don’t feel safe so I’m going to leave.
No, thank you.