35 Easy Consent-Convo Starters

In the kink community kinksters rely upon open communication in order to provide a safe space. This helps us to access our vulnerabilities and get to know one another and build trust.

When trust happens, it leads to the consent required for all the kinky, intimate and fun things we like to do together.

But sometimes, in our eagerness to get to the big show or when we’re deep in our scene/intimacy, we can struggle to find the words needed to make sure we’re checking in with our partners and gaining their explicit consent.

I’ve put together a list that has helped me start and keep open communication flowing to make sure full consent is occurring. I hope you find these useful. Please share your suggestions and ideas in the replies, or tag me on Twitter @MistressKye so we can share your insights with others in the kink community.

Here are 35 EASY ways to get the consent conversation started:

How do you feel about ….. ?

Can we try something new?

Do you like that?

Do you want me to put on a condom?


Should I slow down?

Now or later?

Are you ok?

What do you like?

Want more?

What excites you?

Is this ok?

Want to try something different?

Should I stop?

Like this?

Want to talk?

Do you enjoy this?

Want to cuddle?

Can I touch you here?

Do you want to have sex?

What do you want to do?

How does that feel?

Does that sound good?

Want to keep going?

Can I help you out of that?

Are you sure you want this?

What do you want right now?

How far do you want to go?

Can I touch you?

Do you want to try that with me?

How would you like me to do that?

Are you up for a quickie?

Can I take your hand?

Does that feel good?

Do I have your consent?

7 thoughts on “35 Easy Consent-Convo Starters”

  1. i was submissive to a marvellous Domme and She led me slowly along Her path as we had already discussed my boundaries with the understanding She should feel free to explore my limits…the most thrilling thing She ever said to me, while I was in bondage and She was playing with my nipples from behind, “do you trust me to take you further?” And i said yes Boss and i was introduced to sounding…so erotic …


  2. i agree absolutely, and trust of course…She was perfect at building up trust…over a number of months i was led from one plateau to the next…and of course She read my body language perfectly…in the end there was very little i wouldn’t have consented too…i learned so much about myself …ken


  3. Consent is a must actually in any kind of relationship. On BDSM-related ones, even more. Great post, Mistress Kye! Thanks.


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